SO IT TURNS OUT I LIKE WRITING NOW...

Twenty years of oil paints, clays and what-nots

and I'm after finding a load of words now.

But sure, I'll try anything once.

Twice if I like it...

Except bungee jumping, I'll never do that.

And sushi. That's rotten shite.

But my earliest memory of writing something decent, was in high school - Mrs C’s English class. She thought it was so good, she read it to the room -

I nearly collapsed off the chair - I was rubbish at school – couldn’t be bothered, all seemed a bit pointless really.

But I liked Mrs C - the only one I did like.

She never stuck me in detention like the others did – but they knew all too well how often “The dog ate my homework” - wouldn’t let me forget it.

Some reason, I always did homework for her. She never patronised, put down or picked on anyone. But she could shut up the biggest tosser in the class, like that!

Wish I knew how.

I’ve met a lot of tossers.

Now I don’t remember the essay topic - but I do remember it being a bitter, whiny, riddled with my signature sarcasm sort of a piece - about the perils of being a middle child – and my 'baby' sibling receiving the majority of mother’s attention.

Well by Jaysus! The class was in stitches! And I couldn’t quite believe that it was from something I wrote – I’d no intention of being funny.

I thought myself just brilliant!

Dunno if I wrote much after that.

Though sometimes, I think you’re banjaxed once you think you’re brilliant. Never trying nearly as hard because, well, “You’re brilliant”

Up ‘til then, I'd thought good writing was all about fancy words: ramblings about hills and heather and shit. The reader weeping fat tears at the poetic, Shakespearean beauty of it all.

Tried that – doesn’t wear well on me.

However, when one tries too hard to be funny, one does look like a dickhead... But I spose “Dickhead is, as dickhead does” (Didn’t Forest Gump say that once?)

But I’m thinking, I like it better getting someone rolling on the floor in bits, losing their waters...

‘Cause life is full of all of this other bullshit. And you gotta dump it somewhere.. (Didn’t Oprah say that once?)

My majority dumped on Facebook these days. Getting used to not knowing who or what is reading it - whether or not they even give a rat's ass.

But I make myself laugh.

Maybe someone else will too.

Thanks Mrs C

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